The following Things are a little vague, I admit. Sometimes a dream is an experience or feeling you want to have instead of a clear goal with solid details. I know what I want to do, what experience I want to have, I just haven’t figured out the specifics yet. That being said, there’s still a method to my
Thing #9: Do Something that Really Scares Me
As I mentioned before, I have an anxiety disorder. I am scared of a lot of things. Listing them all would be entirely too boring but just keep in mind that I manage to freak myself out over Halloween episodes of the Simpsons. Embarrassing to put that out there, but it’s true.
The biggest fear I have – my one true phobia – is falling. It’s different from a fear of heights because I can be up high as long as I distract myself from thinking about falling, but it impacts some of the same things. Just thinking about skydiving or bungee jumping is torture. I won’t even go on roller coasters because they simulate the feeling of falling. Maybe I’ll try to conquer that fear, since I’m finally getting more comfortable with Treehouse of Horror and Supernatural.
Thing #15: Complete a Half Sleeve of Tattoos
I have no idea what I want to get tattooed at this point. Mostly. I do know that I want to get an art nouveau mermaid tattoo to go with the shell/wave I already have, and I’m pretty sure I’ll get the Pilgrim’s Shell after I complete the Camino de Santiago. Beyond that… I’m hoping I figure it out as I go. I’d love to collect ideas from all my travels, and it would be awesome to get some work done by artists in other states/countries, so that my arm ends up being a collage of my experiences and passions. What a beautiful collection of memories that I’ll always get to keep with me.
Thing #16: Win a Contest
Some people are born winners – the right cards are dealt for them, their names get picked in drawings, they always end up with a hotel on Park Place. Other people just don’t have the same mojo and I am one of those people. I never win contests. I’m usually thankful for that because it keeps me from being a gambler or taking too many financial risks. But, you know, I’d like to be a winner for once! Not sure yet what kind of contest I’ll go for. A costume contest or bake-off would be fun, and it would be more effort than chance. Or I could enter drawings for travel stuff, which would help me with my other goals. Maybe I’ll just enter any contest I happen to come across. I’ve gotta win eventually, right? (I am not good at statistics.)
Thing #17: Build or Repair Something
One thing my mom told me when I was single: Find a guy that can fix stuff when it breaks. Pretty sure that’s the foundation her marriage was built on because my stepdad is a very handy guy. I didn’t take that advice, though, and while I’m glad I didn’t, I do call my stepdad or my landlord anytime anything breaks. My only moment of handy(wo)man triumph came when I was able to dig a crushed frosting tip out of the garbage disposal. The only skill that involved was having small fingers and the willingness to put them in ick, though. I’d like to be more handy, and more independent, so I’m going to challenge myself to build or repair something major. What will that be? I have no idea, but we are planning to buy a house so there should be ample opportunity.
Thing #20: Volunteer
Have you ever heard of HandsOn? It’s a great organization that will let you volunteer for all sorts of different projects. When I was a tween, my mom and I volunteered through them (though they were called Make A Difference then) – I worked the door at a fundraiser, folded clothes at a thrift shop for the homeless, cleaned up at a school, and ran a bingo game at a senior center. It’s weird how clearly I remember these experiences even though my memory is generally terrible. They stuck with me because it felt so good to help and I did such a wide variety of jobs. I’d like to volunteer much more in the next decade! I’m considering joining up with HandsOn again, but I might try out some voluntourism as well. And I could always sign up for Habitat for Humanity – that would take care of Thing #17, too!
Thing #23: Meet Someone I Admire
Doesn’t everyone want to meet their heroes? I think we probably all have fantasies where we charm the pants off (sometimes literally) that actor/musician/author that we’ve obsessed over. While I do harbor those fantasies, I know I would probably do no charming, pants or otherwise – I get very nervous and I’m clumsy when I’m nervous, which is a very bad combo. This fear of meeting someone awesome extends to meeting pretty much anyone. I really wish I was better at meeting new people but I’m always so scared of embarrassing myself. Hopefully I can conquer that fear by meeting one of my idols! So who’s the lucky person that’s probably going to get my drink spilled on them? Not sure yet!
Thing #27: Get a Meaningful Job
The job I have now is by no means a bad job. I don’t even hate it most of the time. I get paid well, I have a lot of vacation (by American standards), free medical insurance, and I have some awesome co-workers. In a general sense, the company that I work for is awesome and they do something I believe in. It would be the perfect job… if I mattered. The work that I do just doesn’t MATTER to anyone. I write and write all day long and those words all go into a void. I might as well just put paper in a trash can for a living. It’s depressing. And the fact that the other parts of the job are so good is actually a bad thing because it prevents me from leaving and getting a job that’s more meaningful. I’m in this weird black hole where I don’t want to give up my pay and vacation time but I know I’m wasting my potential. Putting this on the list is a kick in the ass to get out of my comfort zone and find something I can do that’s fulfilling. I just might wait until after I’ve saved enough for all the Places I Want To Go.